October 31, 2003

Happy Halloween! Dress up, eat too much candy and stay safe.

I just watched World News Tonight with Peter Jennings. He reported that the oldest woman in the world died today.

"She attributed her longevity to sleeping two days at a time and then staying awake two days a time." Pause. "She did not say if she partied."

Oh Peter Jennings, you are one funny man.

Halloween, the ungodly American export. Moscow concurs.

Did Bonnie Fuller really betray women? You betcha.

Nice Tina Fey profile in the New Yorker last week.

"I'm going to kick your posterior." - Chris Pontius (Jackass, Wildboyz) to arresting officer.

Dunkin Donuts dumps the cruller. My dad and one other guy are upset.

October 28, 2003

I LOVE NEW YORK CITY OH YEAH NEW YORK CITY

The show last Friday rocked. Joan Jett is and always will be Joan Jett Queen of Punk - and Queen of the cover tune to boot.

Andrew WK - heartwarming. Is that the proper adjective for a rock band? I don't think so, but it is true. Little children on stage! No, literally there was a kid who jumped up on stage who was 10 years old. And he knew all the lyrics to every song! I gotta tell you, I like a rock show where I can dance and scream and periodically pump my fist in the air... and this was that show. Huge guitar riffs with OI band lyrics. I can dig it. Andrew WK is rock with an exclamation point! God that was fun.

Ok, I didn't forget about Juliette Lewis. No, I will never forget Juliette Lewis. Here it is and I quote:

"Have any of you ever heard of a little movie called…NATURAL BORN KILLERS!!???"

Wild cheer from the audience.

"People say I’m crazy but I’m not. I’m just SO FUCKING COOL!!!!!!!!!"

Even bigger cheer from the audience.

Scary.

At this point Jim M. retreated to the bar as he felt his heckling would go unheard over the screams her group of loyal supporters...And her outfit. Oh her outfit. Kids I don’t know what to say. I can't really do justice to a yellow sparkly spandex jump suit that clearly showed all of her "junk in the trunk". My husband cleverly identifiied the color of said body suit as "Sammy Hagar Yellow". Funny boy. (BTW Jim just posted some skateboard decks he designed on his site. Check 'em out.)

People gave me presents last weekend. For no reason. That's the best kind. First Georgetti brought me a tin of altoids that had Heatmiser on the cover. Yeah that’s right HEATMISER.

Did somebody actually ask me if they did that in homage to Elliott Smith’s band? I couldn't have dreamt that. You know whoever said that is now gonna lay the smack down on me…but c’mon now, do we really think Altoids have their ear that close to the street? Is any mint that hip? Anyway, I went on and on about the box and how cool The Year Without a Santa Claus was and then Jay went out and bought me the video tape. Thanks Jay! Oh, and happy b-day! This is officially the post of exclamation points!

Speaking of The Year Without a Santa Claus, has anyone noticed that it is very rarely shown on television? For years it seemed they didn’t play it at all, yet Rudolph is running on permanent rotation across the dial. My theory on this - cos you know I got a theory- is: The television powers that be (ie, crazy radical Christian groups and the advertisers that kowtow to them) didn’t like the fact that instead of portraying a universe controlled by a male god-like figure, in this story Mother Nature is the ruler of the world. The shiznit of the solar system if you will. It was therefore quietly banned from the airways. Conspiracy? I think yes.

So the late night eating at my house has GOT TO STOP. You hear that people? I don't care if Anne calls me a nag. Nobody should be cooking and eating egg sandwiches at my place at 4 am. Also, I am banning cheese-based-snacky food from the premises. The other night we accumulated like 8 varieties of these things plus these, which could only have been invented by a masochist with no taste buds.

Ok, I know someone who is going to be on the soon-to-be-televised Colonial House. PBS's follow up to Frontier House. We will call this person D. Anyhoo, every time I run into D. I just interrogate him about his time on the show. I don't think I have managed to have a conversation with him that I didn't somehow relate back to the show. He tells me he went out to dinner that night and I counter with "Kinda like what you ate on Colonial House?" Why am I telling you this, aside from an illustration of how annoying I can be? Because I am trying to lay claim to the idea for Grunge House here and now. Ok, the participants? They are in stuck in Seattle. And they can't wash or cut their hair. Ripped jeans. Flannels. Coffee. Doc Martens. Heroin. Cigarettes. Loud guitars. Is anyone feeling me?

October 24, 2003

Andrew WK, Joan Jett, and Juliette Lewis played the Warsaw last night. Good times.

Click on the chips to see pictures from last night.

October 23, 2003

Elliott Smith RIP

Porn Karaoke. No kidding.

I'm bored. Save me Jeebus!

October 20, 2003

I'm sitting around wasting time until my weight training session at the gym. That just doesn't sound right. I don't think that my name and the word "gym" have ever been uttered in the same sentence before... Alright, so I've taken yoga classes for a while now...at least a year or two...so when I saw pilates on the class schedule I figured that I could just skip the beginner's class and go straight in with the big girls.

My first clue that I was in the wrong class? Three very thin women discussing how many mats they had to put down on the floor to be comfortable."I know, I know, I need at least two because I'm so skinny that my bones go right through to the floor." I swear to God I DID NOT MAKE THAT UP. I, on the other hand, was contemplating not using a mat at all.

Monkeys and puppies together at last.

I have NO idea how I missed this. Everyone knows I love Mike Skinner yet here he was playing blocks from my house last Thursday and I know nothing about it. I do, however, know all about the Andrew WK/Joan Jett/ Juliette Lewis show on Friday at the Warsaw. You should too.

Here is something to cheer up after a really rough day. It could be worse.

So while I'm linking to craigs list...this is hysterical. I wish I thought of it myself.

Are MAC geeks and Star Wars fanatics cut from the same cloth? You be the judge.

More Dirty?

Personally, I've only had pleasant experiences with toll booth workers on the highway, but apparently they have a tendency to tell people to go fuck themselves.

October 18, 2003

I saw Kill Bill on Wednesday. Lots of fun stuff to look at but I can't say I left the theater loving the movie. Because one obvious shortcoming was...it was half a movie. It felt like one of those lame-ass cliffhangers at the end of sitcom season. Uma Thurman killed 2 of her foes and had 3 left on her list. And now we gotta go back and pay another 10 bucks to see her do it...However the too-much-gore, too-much-violence reports are unwarrented, as the violence is really over-the-top cartoony and therefore was not really scary or upsetting. If I could take it anyone could. I heard RZA of Wu-Tang Clan fame did the score - it was hot. The 5,6,7,8's rocked out.

So we left the theater and me, Kevin and Jim got on the L Train. And sat there. And sat there. No idea what the issue was - They kept making some unintelligible announcement over the speakers about Carnarsie - So we got back off the L Train and walked down to Mona's to watch the Red Sox / Yankees game (so tragic an ending on that one.) Ok, so Mona's is this dingy, dark Irish bar on Avenue B that I spent a large part of my troubled youth in. As Wisely once said to someone who mentioned the place, "Oh! We grew up there!"... Sad but true...So I kinda felt like I was going back to the scene of a crime or something. But instead, it was, well... pretty boring. Still dark, same pool table (or very similar one), the bathroom is cleaner but that's about it. Instead of gutter punks all camped out in front there were a bunch of college kids talking about who had the best email address. Yawn.

Let's talk about Mexx baby, let's talk about you and me...

And while I am referencing places I like to shop let me point to Lynn Yaeger's column from this summer. Here's the excerpt:

"We wanted to tell you about the newsboy caps and mod lingerie dresses at Urban Outfitters on Broadway at Bleecker, but we decided instead to make sure you are aware that this store's owner, a guy named Richard Hayne, is a major contributor to the campaign of Rick Santorum, the homophobic Pennsylvania congressman who likened gays to people who practice bestiality. Just so you know. "

Ya got that kids? No shopping at Urban Outfitters on Broadway. Not that I'm inferring that you shop at Urban Outfitters or anything. Cos I know I would NEVER shop at Urban Outfitters myself. EVER. That jacket is vintage man...okay?

I just have to vent here about a little saying that is working my last nerve. And such a pedestrian, non-offensive saying at that. What I am referring to is the fact that at least once at day for the past, I don't know, six months, I have heard someone begin a sentence with, "At the end of the day..." EVERY DAY. EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY. Now that you are aware of it, you too will hear it everywhere. As a matter of fact I just got through watching the episode of Newlyweds (don't front, I know you watch it too) where Nick Lachey was upset about his low-rent video and he just kept saying "at the end of the day" this , and" at the end of the day" that and it was ruining the whole show for me. STOP IT ALREADY. How bout we all start saying "when all is said and done" for a while and just give the day a rest? Yeesh. Okay, I'm done.

October 13, 2003

New Cash Money Beyotch

I have a big exciting day filled with cleaning my house planned. Nothing can stop me. I live for this shit. My cat just puked on the ottoman again and I am taking that as an auspicious sign.

Free web hosting for life! (Or until these guys go out of business) Now all you gotta do is get one of their tatoos permanently inked on your skin. Sounds fair right? Hell, if you get the allrockkitty star tatooed on your skin I will write an updated weekly column on this site about you and your whereabouts, love/hates, guitar playing ability, ...or something like that. How about I give you five dollars? Does that work?

Porn star or socialite?

Look Nivea, it's your new little sister, Porsche.

October 12, 2003

We had a Beautiful weekend in Virginia and got to see both of our families at once which was nice. Jim's family lives in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains which is a super picturesque part of VA. And of course we made our annual pilgrimage to Cooters, and loaded up on t-shirts and hats.

We attempted to visit the Sklyine Caverns this time, but due to a planning snafu only managed to spend time at the gift store and take the Train ride.

Gettin' down in Rappahannock County. I can't remember the name of the place we hung out in but it was super -comfy with lots of couches and all kinds of beer. I represented and drank this:

So the weekend was full of family and fun and dogs. Lots and lots of Dogs. Dogs at every house we stopped at. Dogs miling around the streets, dogs in the coffee shop, dogs in the bar...Dogs, dogs and more dogs.

Lucy-fer.

Sparky Smells.

Last week I posted a scandalous picture of myself and Nick at the Catskill mountains after-party. I decided that I should post it to be fair to all the others I have outed in the past. However, I don't want any of you to think that bad behavior was limited to myself that evening. Here I present Jim and Nick (thanks leese!)

October 8th, 2003

I have nothing to say about the California Election except this: over 70% of the electorate voted. Now if we could just get Jean Claude Van Damme to make a run for president, we could finally get the American public off our collective fat ass and into the polls.

On a side note...Maria Shriver? Anorexia or Atkins? I can't tell anymore. Her face is so sharp it looks like it would hurt to kiss her.

Oh! What about this...Reese Witherspoon's brother was arrested after breaking into a neighbors apartment to undress and kiss her?

I just finished this article on the train ride home. Fact: About every two weeks someone jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. Mass suicide is an interesting yet mind-boggling phenomena. The more the media report jumpers - the more people jump. So in 1973, when two San Fransisco newspapers initiated countdowns to the five-hundredth recorded jumper...

"Bridge officials turned back fourteen aspirants to the title, including one man who had '500' chalked on a cardboard sign pinned to his T-shirt. The eventual 'winner', who eluded both bridge personnel and local-television crews, was a commune-dweller tripping on LSD."

Just proves the point that people are willing to follow any trend.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg just announced the fall schedule for NYC TV, the official television network of New York City. (We have an official television network?) One dazzling new show included in the fall lineup is called "Inside the Archives". On this show they will display photographs taken from the city's Department of Records and Information Services. Some that are available to the public for the first time! Hmmm...Sounds kinda like watching paint dry, but...um... more boring?

On the fun television tip - Born Rich coming to HBO on Demand this fall...Can someone tape it for me?

Extreme Skateboarding. Extreme Football. Extreme Mountain Biking...Extreme Pumpkins. It had to happen.

New York, New York.

Ok, I decided one day in my unemployment haze to re-code this web site. I don't really like it, but I was in way too deep to go back. In the past week I have tried a few different shades of gray and I have now changed the link colors like six times in an attempt to make it universally legible (the color-combo wasn't doing it on every moniter). Could someone let me know if it looks like shit? Thanks.

October 6, 2003

The Courtney Love E! True Hollywood Story was something of a letdown. I mean I think we all know the story. I was looking for some interview footage that hadn't aired before or maybe some mug shots or something. (We did get to see Kat Bjelland from Babes in Toyland all grown up and still cool though) Maybe the fallout from Courtney's attempted breaking and entering and drug overdose last week will be more entertaining. Whats that called? Oh yeah - schadenfreude. And I am guilty as charged. My karma now officially sucks. But while I'm on the topic...I think Colin Farrell may wanna check himself before he too wrecks himself.

Went to see Lost in Translation last week. Good movie. Made me desperately crave an evening of karaoke. Who's up?

Spent last weekend in a little town in the Catskill Mountains (Population? A whopping 1,280 and that's straight from the census numbers boy-ee.) Our friend Cecily had a bar-b-que/Hoe Down for her wedding reception. I mistakenly wore heels but that was my only complaint for the evening. The space was amazing - an old auction house that her brother is making into a gallery/coffee shop and which they had adorned with all these beautiful fall inspired decorations.

Classy, no? Which is why it is so hard for me to tell the rest of this story...Things degenerated quickly that evening once we left the reception. We invited all the youngins back to our motor-lodge room. We figured what's a cheap motel room for except to destroy it right? There was a lot of beer and smoking and screaming and yelling in that room. The next morning when we wake up and realize that you can hear EVERYTHING that goes on in those rooms from any room in the building. We felt awful. The good news is that everyone staying there was attending the celebration as well. The bad news is that we think there were children staying in the room next to us. Ok, I STILL feel awful. My karma really is shot to shit.

	"Punch me in the stomach! Go ahead! Punch me! I don't FEEL pain!"
Get me in front of a camera and I will do anything. I have a problem. For some reason I thought this was funny at the time. Now I am very scared. Sorry Nick.

Are you ready for more?

September archives.