March 31, 2004
An undisclosed date, an undisclosed location:
Smoking in bars. Nothing beats it. Although I will say I was completely thrown when Chris pulled out the cigar. As Lisa said, it was very punk rock.
Dogs and their owners really do look alike.
So I think I found my dream job, for real: Casting reality television shows.
Speaking of reality television shows - MTV's I Want A Famous Face is seriously disturbing. On so many levels. But the one thing I couldn't stop obsessing on while I watched the show was: where the hell do these people get the money to do this kind of shit!? I can't afford a facial for gods sake. And there's the big disclaimer at the beginninng of the show:
The subjects of this documentary series decided on their own to get plastic surgery. MTV then asked to document their journey. MTV did not pay for any surgery performed on these subjects.
I saw the creepy twins on some show where they said that the surgeons that worked on them "donated" $40,000 worth of plastic surgery to them. So what was MTV's role in coordinating this donation? I have no comment.
The "homeless" guy pictured hanging on Courntey Love's right breast speaks out.
March 27, 2004
With all the things I have to worry about while taking the subway - and believe you me, I worry - I can now add to the list getting my pants set on fire.
My cell phone has the capacity to text message, although I have never even checked out the feature. So imagine my surprise when my cell went off, not with the sweet candyland-like music I have set for my calls, nor the crazy chicken clucking for my voicemail, but instead with this loud obnoxious beeping. So I looked at my phone and I had two text messages. They were offers to enlarge my penis. I swear to god I was enraged. It felt beyond intrusive. Now I have SPIM to look forward to.
Four-eared kitty. Not as freakish looking as you would think.
I read The Only Girl in the Car last weekend. Yet another adequate book. Could someone please suggest some reading material for me? I am not batting a thousand with my recent picks.
After hours clubs. Haven't been to one since Save the Robots back in the day. A few months ago my brother was at some party and a chick came up to him and said that she used to know me and that she had worked at Save The Robots. And I made a mental note to avoid this person at all costs. Anyone who remembers me from Robots scares me. Then I read this article and it got me reminiscing. When I lived in Richmond Virginia I had a boss who was from New York and we spent hours trying to outdo each other with New York war stories.
Here is Eric's winning story: One time he was at Save the Robots with a bunch of friends from out of town (I think they may have been Irish, but I can't commit to that 100%). The bunch of them were wasted out in front of the club, leaving Robots to pick up some cigarettes or something. Suddenly one of the girls he was with screamed and grabbed her leg. The girl was rattling on about how her leg felt like it was on fire, but since they were all tripping as well as drunk, they were confused and dismissive of his friend's complaints. Until another one of his friends grabbed his arm and screamed. Long story longer, they end up at the hospital and find out they have all been shot at. And that there were like 5 other people in the hospital that evening who had been randomly shot on Avenue B. The upside? All bullet grazings, no deaths.
God, sometimes I miss pre-Giuliani NY.
March 23, 2004
Ok, so my worst nightmare just came true - I ran into someone I knew at the gym. Anyway, I was so flustered by trying to make casual conversation while on the stairmaster that I forgot to tell Don (said interloper at the gym) that I saw a preview for Colonial House. Yes, Don is to be on Colonial House - but I could not make him out in the footage I saw. What I could make out? At one point all the colonists were holding hands in a chain and skipping. Skipping Don? You are never supposed to skip on national tv. Ever.
Now I must go. America's Top Model awaits.
March 22, 2004
Just got back from Boston. Had a blast. Very quick trip to celebrate both my mom's and Liz's birthdays. We probably spent as much time traveling back and forth to Boston as we did hanging there.
Here's an example of the kind of stuff I was eating this weekend:
No doubt I have to spend some time at the gym this week.
Ok, so for Liz's birthday night we went out to a macrobiotic eatery in Waltham and then on to the B Side for fondue. Yup, fondue, the hip dish of the seventies - and it was good!
Liz, Kate and Heather left early, leaving Jim, Jersey, Steve and myself to re-open our tab and really get our drink on. Jim had two chairs set out for "special secret guests" he was expecting that ended up being Jen and Brian. Chaos and nudity ensued.
Liz made up these cute little xerox books of pictures of people past and present that made us laugh:
Photos from later on at the B Side when things started getting ugly.
March 18...later
Wait, wait, wait! I totally forgot the funniest part of the Letterman show last night (I was too distracted by the rest of the story). Ok, so Courtney Love will not leave the stage. Dave Letterman would point out that he really had to let the other guests on and she would start rambling some incoherent crap about Meryl Streep. A few more spastic and boring stories later, including one about her calling Nicole Kidman a puddle, Dave is still trying to get rid of her and she's all, "NO! You have to ask me at least one more question! C'mon!" (I'm paraphrasing here.) So Dave Letterman just looks at her and goes "Alright. How much do you weigh?"
Ohmygod, so funny.
March 18, 2004
Woke up this morning, checked my email and found this link from Lisa. What was I thinking last night? Why would I decide NOT to go see Courtney Love in action? I've been living with the regret all day. Ok, if you did not click the aforementioned link, I'll just tell you: Love was arrested on assault charges at the show last night for throwing a mic and hitting someone in the head with it.
I've seen (and felt) a lot worse at rock shows, so I'm not exactly sure why someone obviously standing at the front of the stage and subsequently getting hit with an object would drag the police into the situation. Dude's obviously thinking meal ticket through law suit.
I did catch the Letterman appearance because I still can stay up after midnight - I'm just to lame to be going OUT after midnight. God, I could talk about this subject all day. Actually, I did talk about this all day at work. My coworkers were also impressed with the story. Although one did ask me if I had some sort of unhealthy obsession. Duh.
Back to the Letterman appearance...You can check out video footage here that shows parts of the show, plus extra footage of Courtney's release from jail this morning.
And try this link for photos from last night.
March 17, 2004
For those of you following Courtney Love's trials and tribulations (aren't we all?), after arriving two hours late for court today she fired, then re-hired her lawyer. Catch her on Letterman tonight. Or try catching her "surprise" show at Plaid this evening. Rumor has it she is supposed to go on at 12:30. I have no idea what this appearance will be comprised of and have serious doubts that all will go according to plan...but you have been warned.
Wait, did you know that a McDonalds salad has more fat than a cheeseburger? True that.
Why are the writers on The Simpsons are obsessed with Blue Man Group?
"Don't tell my kids I've been arrested, tell them I've joined the Blue Man Group. I'm the fat one."
March 14, 2004
Howard Stern being forced off the radio? Say it ain't so. As I have said before, I am not being facetious here, I really do like Stern. I don't actually listen to the radio show as two hours full of tits and ass tends to make me yawn. But in small doses, such as the E! Howard Stern show, I find him entertaining, funny and surprisingly honest.
Aside from that, it's also a little depressing how maligned the first ammendment has been recently. Supposedly, this whole media clampdown on nudity/language/content/whatever is a direct result of Janet Jackson bearing a breast for three seconds on the superbowl. Yet I am paranoid enough to think that not only was that not an "accident" but it was somehow manipulated by some conservative group somewhere to act as a catalyst for this action. Like, the Morman church snuck in one of their own as Janet's hairstylist and as he styled her hair proposed this "show-stopping" moment. Janet, easily persuaded by hairstylists, thought it was a great idea, and thus a fiasco was born.
But maybe Stern will pursuade his listeners to make a difference in the upcoming election.
Nick's rebuttal lays the blame on Josh Hommes being power hungry. Gotta say, I know some people who hung out with Nick Olivieri on the last QOTSA tour and the night ended in a drunken bloodbath, with potential lawsuits and monetary payout on the part of QOTSA. So believe what you want, but I think Josh Hommes may be telling the truth. Word.
Dave Blood from the Dead Milkmen commits suicide. Sad.
March 8, 2004
Still getting hits off people searching "Dave Chapelle Rick James" from February, so I decided to google that shit myself. And these two pages were the best of the lot:
Dave Chapelle site with lots o' good video, including the second installment of the Rick James episode: What did the five fingers say to the face. SLAP!
Cocaine is a bitch. And so is marijuana it seems for David Crosby. Why was I shocked by this news? I don't know why but I was saddened. I read it on the internet (naturally) while at work. And so I yelled out over my makeshift walls:
"Hey! The guy from Crosby Stills and Nash was arrested on drug and weapons charges!"
And then my coworkers were all "Yeah. Of course he was." And totally not shocked or amazed at all.
So I go, "But he's been in recovery for years! He's Melissa Etheridge's Sperm Donor!'
And then I walked out of my little cubicle space and realized there was a gentleman there for a meeting with my boss. And thinking on my feet I said, "I'm sorry! I don't usually say sperm at work," and walked out the door to the bathroom.
I was about to use the word nonplussed in my little anecdote above, but then remembered that nonplussed is one of those words that means the opposite of what you think it does. Or what I think it does.
Just finished watching the David Letterman Show and it was basically all Drew Barrymore all the time which made me so happy - I heart Drew.
March 7, 2004
I donated to a political campaign for the first time in my life last week. Now that the playing field has been narrowed to Bush and Kerry, I decided to take the bold step of giving away my hard earned cash and donated to the Kerry campaign. As I have said before, I'm not a superfan of Kerry, I am just virulently anti-Bush. But I was still somewhat saddened to read this article on Kerry's ambiguous standpoint on gay marraige.
Oh! Speaking of gay marriage, this George Saunders piece ran in the New Yorker last week. Oh how I love Mr. Saunders.
Why blogs are ruining the very social fabric of this society.
Which Real World San Diego cast member has not been arrested on an alcohol related charge?!
Jen visited us on Friday.
She is now dead. Just kidding folks. We took pictures - something completely out of character for me! See more here.
We all know that Americans are getting fatter. But now we know exactly where that fat is accumulating on the body, and clothing manufacturers will be able to adjust their sizing accordingly. And I for one, am not at all happy with the results. SizeUSA just completed their nationwide survey of American adults and found that people are getting larger around the middle. I already have a problem buying pants as it is - if they fit my ass and hips, inevitably the waist band is just swimming around me. Now it seems that waistband will be getting bigger. Joy.
So I took Ben's "how snakepit are you?" quiz and found out that I am "an asshole" and that I can "fuck off" and that he doesn't know how I got there but that I suck. I'm not sure how this happened...was it because I picked Brooklyn as the best city? Because I said Ben was a good guy? Because I picked the Misfits to be the best band out of his offerings? I will never know. What I do know: Ben's list of "most fun" things are decidedly not-fun. I don't know who Josh is, have never crapped my pants and pray that I don't wake up in a ditch one day.
March 3, 2004
I read A Million Little Pieces over the weekend. I thought I would enjoy it more than I did. I had read/heard mucho accolades bestowed upon it from people's whose taste runs along the same lines as my own. But...um...it just didn't touch me. Also, invented punctuation, such as Random Capitalization, such as James Frey, the Author uses, is just a little too Self concious for me. That said, it was still a fast and somewhat fun read.
For the fierce mama in everyone. Yay Catherine!
Wisely passed this link on to me and, uh, everyone, as she is now a one woman crusader against bad taxi drivers. Contact the NY Taxi and Limo Commission every time you have a rude or psychotic driver and especially when a driver refuses to take you to Brooklyn! Dammit!
Oh I forgot to mention I went to the Body Shop last weekend to pick up their kinetin tinted moisterizer - its the bomb. Why should you care? You shouldn't. What you should care about: The Body Shop has set up a program where they are collecting old cell phones, fixing them up and then distributing them to women who are victims of domestic violence and can really use them. So now you know what to do with your old phone.
This has been a public service announcement from Noreen.
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