January 27, 2003

So a while back I read Jennifer Egan's book Look At Me - it was O.K. One of the many subplots involves a homeless man named Pluto who is hired by this web guru dude to set up a web site where he documents his life on the streets. The irony of course is that for the first time in his life he has money, yet he has to remain homeless in order to keep the gig. Far fetched? I thought so, but every day life gets that much closer to fiction.

Stoli Raspberry with tonic and lime tastes like a Rasberry Lime Rickey from back in the Brighams day. Yeah, its that good. These look yummy too:

Raspberry Lemonade - stoli raspberry, fresh lemonade, raspberry puree topped with fresh raspberry
Indian Summer - stoli stawberry, 7up, splash grapefruit juice, garnish: stawberry
Possible 20 - stoli raspberry, stoli vanilla, 7up, garnish: raspberry
Lemon Lime Crush - stoli lemon, 7up, crushed lemons and limes, glass rimmed with sugar
Mandarin Splash - stoli orange, pineapple juice, lime juice

I signed up to be part of Columbia's Small World Project. A team of sociologists at Columbia University are trying to replicate the 1967 Harvard study that resulted in the whole "six degrees of seperation" theory. Back then, this social psychologist Stanley Milgram sent 300 letters to randomly selected people in Omaha, Nebraska with the instruction to get the letter to a single "target" person in Boston using only personal contacts. So the new and improved 2003 version of this experiment is being done by email of course. Individuals who sign up are assigned a target person and their objective is to use their social connections to get an email message to their target, or as close to that person as possible.

Also out of Columbia, the closely related network theory.

January 25, 2003

Last night Liz and I went to see Grant Hart play at T.T.'s. I've never listened to his solo stuff, though I was a big Husker Du fan back in the day. What am I talking about back in the day? I still listen to Husker Du. I only got to see them once. I don't remember the details clearly, but the story goes something like this:

Me and Lisa and Heather got tickets to see Husker Du. They were scheduled to play the Orpheum on like a Friday or Saturday night. But they cancelled the show (rumor was that their manager commited suicide, I have never verified this) and rescheduled the show for a Tuesday night. Of course, we were all in high school and we weren't supposed to be hanging out downtown on a school night, so we were forced to create lame alibis and sneak out anyway. Then after all the lying and subterfuge, we got to see Husker Du. And we hated the show. The way I remember it, they didn't really play anything except what was on their new album Warehouse: Songs and Stories, which hadn't even been released yet so we were all just sitting there like "what is this?" and "why are all these people so old?".

At the show last night, Grant Hart played this beautiful acoustic version of Sorry Somehow, things came full circle, and I felt at peace.

I finally got around to reading The Tipping Point. I have a soft spot in my heart for books that cover sociological bullshit (esp. the nature versus nurture stuff) and this is a great one. The Tipping Point is basically about how minor phemomenon become major trends. The title refers to the moment when an idea, trend or social behavior "crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire." It's well written in non academic language and as a result, so much fun to read. I only hate the idea that a million marketing and advertising people will be trying to apply this theory to the unending quest to sell more.

Speaking of stupid marketing tricks, Pony recently hired the LA based entertainment agency The Firm to get their clients (like Fred Durst) to go around wearing Pony so the kids will think it is cool. PONY SUCKS.

Anyway, one of the things that The Tipping Point attempts to describe is how trends in the underground transition into mass market fads. And while I was reading it I kept thinking about the Jerky Boys. I remember going to someone's house sometime in the early 90's and us all sitting around listening to this crappy recording of The Jerky Boys making prank phone calls, laughing our asses off. This tape had been copied over so many times and the quality was so badly degenerated that you had to lean way in toward the speaker to hear some parts. And at some point someone who made a copy of it had taped over some music, which you could hear faintly in the background. EVERYBODY had a copy of that tape. It had become some kind of underground phenomenon and then the Jerky Boys came out and released their CD and they got rich and famous overnight and went on to make a whole bunch of CDs just like the first one except not as funny and one very crappy movie. Small ideas can change the world, indeed.

Its tearing the ass outta me.

Shoes and glasses.

January 24, 2003

George Saunders has a new story in this week's New Yorker. Read it. Mr. Saunders is a short story wizard.

I actually got a message on my voicemail this morning that said "Dude, if you are still there, Vince Neil is on Regis and Kelly....you gotta put it on. Later."

There is so much wrong with that sentence I don't know where to begin. Vince Neil? Regis and Kelly? Is this indicative of the state of popular culture? Why would a friend of mine be watching Regis and Kelly?! Now I'm not gonna play like I'm not glued to my tv every Thursday for The Surreal Life, because obviously I am. The show is irresistible. And who would have ever imagined that Vince Neil would come off as a good guy? C'mon I read The Dirt, I remember the 80's, this guy is a total tool...and yet...and yet...somehow Vince Neil comes off like some kind of beacon of sanity in the galaxy of faded stars that is the show. Who wouldda guessed? Crazy. At the same time, I'm not rushing to my television to catch Vince Neil's words of wisdom at 9am, thats just scary.

I got a coffee at Au Bon Pain on the corner this morning. I was juggling many random cold weather items in my hands and had to put my discman down on the counter to get my cash out. So the guy who rang me up looks at it and goes, "What are you listening to?"

This is a question I absolutely abhor. To begin with it is totally intrusive and way too personal of a question to ask to a complete stranger. But add to that the fact that inevitably this person will not have heard of whatever CD I am listening to. They never do. Instead the stranger generally just looks at me with a completely blank face and says nothing. To fill up this awkward silence I usually start babbling, even inventing facts about the band and their music. This morning's conversation followed the same pattern.

Man behind counter: "What are you listening to?"
Me: "Uh...The Streets?"
Man with big wide smile, "Oh the Backstreet Boys...cool."

Ok, do I look like the kind of person who would be listening to the Backstreet Boys? Worst yet, do I look like the kind of person who would be listening to the Backstreet Boys and then refer to them as "The Streets"? Even writing that made me cringe.

Me: "Uh, no its a ...its just The Streets."
Him: Blank look
Me: "They're from England."

This conversation was just making both of us look bad at that point, so without another word I grabbed my coffee and left.

I was also listening to 50 Cent this morning. Yeah, I bought the 8 mile sound track, what of it? Now I can't get this out of my head.

Daaaaammmmmn Homie.
in highschool you was the
maaaaaaaaannnnn Homie.

Holy Generation X! Comedy Central is re-running The Ben Stiller Show. Here you will find Andy Dick, Janeane Garofalo, Bob Odenkirk and Ben Stiller all in one place. They all look so young, it is somewhat jarring. Run DMC make a special appearance.

January 21, 2003

DAMN its cold. That is all.

January 20, 2003

"Returning violence for violence multiples violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

--Martin Luther King Jr.

Saturday I went to the Dansko Love Cycling team meeting. I don't actually ride a bike I am just stalking a few of these girls.

We stopped by the River Gods that night. I've decided I can only go there on really off nights, like Tuesdays or something, because it is just WAY too packed on the weekends.

On Sunday I stayed in bed all day and read The Secret History by Donna Tartt. This book has been just sitting on my nightstand for weeks. I was afraid to start reading it as I tend to be a compulsive reader and can't bring myself to put down a well written book. And that's exactly what happened...it was great.

I'm glad to know we have people like this working on the spam issue. We all just have to have faith that these geeks can put an end to the torture once and for all. Ever wonder where spam got its name? Click right here.

January 16, 2003

Just when I thought I didn't have to kill myself...Clickey here.

January 15, 2003

Here's a really fun article about the new show High School Reunion. And Ray pointed me towards this funny article on Joe Millionaire from Salon today. I am afraid I may be aquiring a reputation as some sort of reality television freak. And that it may be true. However I would like to point out, in my own defense, that I do not watch any and all of the reality shows on television. I am selective, and like to think I have developed a refined sense of taste when it comes to this bullshit. Amazing Race? Amazing! Survivor? Yawn. And the entire "dating" part of the genre does not really interest me. I'm not into Star Dates, Elimidate, The Fifth Wheel, Taildaters, whathaveyou. (The only exception to this rule is Shipmates. Lisa Wisely turned me on to it. It is funny... really it is.) I also don't enjoy the Bachelor or the Bachelorette and I haven't even bothered to turn on Joe Millionaire. After reading the Salon article I think I may want to see it even less.

We saw The New You at ZuZu, the fancy-pants new part of the Middle East, last Tuesday night. They were good, it was fun, and they are gonna be there every Tuesday through the end of January. True that.

Here are some random pictures from a night quite a while back that I don't remember so well. I'm having trouble even remembering what time of year it was. Everyone looked very sweaty, so it may have been summer. I ran into the guy in these pictures the other weekend and he was like "hey, I went to your website and you never put those pictures up." And I said...well I have no idea what I said. I muttered somthing like "What? Yeah! Pictures! What's your name again?" and then didn't listen to the answer. Cheryl/Shirley is in them and I know her at least.

A few years ago I was hanging out with friends and family in NYC . It was a perfect weekend filled with random lewdness, base indulgence and debauchery ... then minutes before I was supposed to leave, I broke one of my back teeth in half. How did I break it? Gummy Alphabets by Haribo. I have a bad gummy-habit and as a result I managed to break my tooth on one of the softest substances known to man. Oh, the ironing is delicious. Anyhow, when I got back to Richmond, where I was living at the time, I went to see this dentist who informed me I would need a root canal and a crown put on my tooth. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but anything was better than the jagged stump in the back of my mouth. This dentist spread the proceedure out over like ten visits, was recommending I had all kinds of craziness done to my teeth and kept me waiting for at least an hour every time we had an appointment. (She always double booked. She sucked.) So me and my now half-repaired tooth took ourselves across town to my husband's dentist: Dr. Davey Crockett. Davey Crockett was an extra big man with an extra big voice to match. He was super friendly, very Southern and I liked him immediately. Long story longer, Dr. Davey Crockett takes some x-rays of my mouth. And when he comes back, in the company of like his entire staff , I could tell something was wrong.

Dr. Crockett: "Um...Well...It seems....
Me:" Yeah?"
Him "Well it looks like Dr. ______ left a tool in your tooth."
He showed me this x-ray and sure enough there was some sort of small metal pin in my tooth.
Dr Crockett: "It looks like she must have broke it off when she was working."
Me: "And didn't think to tell me that she did?!"
The doctor: "Well maam, I guess not."

Needless to say this did not surprise me.

Oh, that made me think of my friend Alex. (Dr. Crockett was her dentist too) She has been sending me stuff about the Women In Black, and vigils they have been holding in Richmond. It all looks very cool.

January 13, 2003

Cecily Rush married Erick Bowser over New Years in Yosemite National Park. She sent me this picture that was so goddamn pretty I just had to post it. Doesn't she look beautiful?

January 12, 2003

I bought a copy of The Book of Liz last week. It's a short play by Amy and David Sedaris or "The Talent Family" as theyhave billed themselves. Amazing. It's literally 48 pages long, but it only cost $5.95 so its all kosher. The plot centers around Sister Elizabeth Donderstock, a woman who makes cheeseballs and is a member of a society very similar to the Amish. She ends up working at "Plymouth Crock" a restaurant run by recovering alcoholics and living with illegal Ukranian immigrants. Surreal, goofy, hilarious. Buy it.

I think everyone has heard about those new anti-SUV commercials at this point. I am referring to the new I-support-terrorism-I-drive-an-SUV parodies of the anti-drug PSAs released last year. The commercials have only been played in Detroit, Los Angeles, New York and Washington so you may not have seen them. Click here to view them online. Surprisingly, or not that surprisingly, some network affiliates who ran the Ad Council anti-drug PSAs will not run the anti-SUV PSAs. Oh, I love this: What Would Jesus Drive?

A while back Jen gave me these tickets to put on SUVs around town. It seemed like a great idea...but when I went to put them on the SUVs I came to the realization that I am scared of SUV drivers. Not the mother- of- three- from- the- suburbs-who -wants -control -in-one-aspect-of-her-life ones, I'm scared of the men who drive SUVs. I just assume they are the type of guys who have deep anger management problems coupled with really short fuses. So I would ticket the vehicles only at night. And after I would put one on an SUV I would TAKE OFF. It didn't exactly make me feel like a bad ass.

January 11, 2003

Last night Jim and I hung out with Jay and Beth. It was one of those nights where you don't plan on going out, end up out anyhow and then have a really fun time. A night that results in absolutely no bloodshed, alcohol poisoning, fist fighting or other hard-to-explain situations. No waking up screaming "God, what made me say that!?" We posed for photos on our way home. One of my New Years resolutions is broken as a result. I am trying desperately to stop flashing gang signs, satanic metal symbols and/or flipping the bird when confronted by a camera and yet I can't seem to stop myself.

So much reality television...so little time. I am trying to figure out some sort of viewing/taping schedule so that at the very least I can see High School Reunion, The Surreal Life, Real World Road Rules Challenge, and The Osbournes. Bravo just added a night of reality programming too, with The It Factor and Cirque Du Soleil Fire Within. Where will it all stop?

Wasn't RealWorld Road Rules amazing? Oh the controversy! I found this site that just has like a rolling commentary from cast members and viewers (a blog if you will)...it's just what I've always dreamed of. Also they have links to old cast members sites. Go look for yourself.

My discman is on its last legs. I've made my peace with that fact, as this particular discman has lasted the longer than any other I have owned - three years and counting. I use the thing every day and carry it everywhere with me so that's a long ass time considering the abuse I put it through. I have been listening to a lot of radio recently as the cd player (the part that puts the "disc" in discman) is the part currently experiencing problems. Like turning itself off for random ten minute periods. Anyway, I was listening to the radio on Friday and they are playing Bandages by Hot Hot Heat and I'm excited and bopping my head until I realize that this is not a college station - its regular old rock radio. I didn't realize they had gotten that big. I haven't seen them live yet and don't want them to get so popular that I will be forced to see them at some lame overpriced venue filled with too many people.

Speaking of music. I keep reading people's top ten songs/bands/albums lists for 2002, and no one seems to be pointing to the obvious. That the best song of 2002 was without a doubt....Nelly's Hot In Herre. Yeah, it was ubiquitous and overplayed but c'mon, that's because it is pure genius! Really. Here is a man who writes a call and response chorus that goes:

Nelly : Its gettin hot in here so take off all your clothes
Anonymous Female: I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off

Like I said...Genius.

Oh wait! I almost forgot. Jen just finished the site for the Dansko Love Cycling Team of which she is a member. You can check out all the cute biking girls or buy stuff or give them money. Your choice.

January 9, 2003

On New Years Eve we went to see The Upper Crust at the Middle East. If you are not familiar with The Upper Crust, they are a rock band that dress in 18th century style powder wigs and knickers. Yeah, I said knickers. This was amusing to me for all of three minutes. Now my husband seemed to think it was hysterical and that they RAWK. He would let out big whoops and YEAHS in between songs with his fist in the air. I would have been embarassed had there not been at least 25 other guys doing the same thing. Thom and Miriam were there and Thom seemed to be loving it too. I was told later that you have to be male to appreciate this particular type of humor.

Below is a quote from a review of one of their shows:

"Lord Bendover complained briefly of ill health, but a few drams of tonic seemed to set him sufficiently right to banter a bit with the crowd, and even take requests - though he dismissed a request for Concubine as 'too silly'. "

Know where I got this? From their web site. Yes, The Upper Crust have a web site on Ye Olde Internet...go figure.

I saw this chick Tanya that I went to high school with while we were there. Every time I see her, which is probably twice a year, I am inevitably drunk. And I am one of those ultra-talkative drunks who end up repeating themselves over and over and over...you get the idea. So when I see Tanya I always bring up this picture I have from graduation where she is wearing a chicken bone around her neck. This particular chicken bone was actually smaller then some of the other bones she had worn in the past. It was a somewhat subtle, feminine chicken bone- but whatever, it was still part of an animal carcass.

Two days later I am sitting home reading Michelle Tea's book The Chelsea Whistle. It's a memoir about her rough childhood in Chelsea, with teenage forays into Boston. And since she was a teenager at the same time that I was, I recognized a lot of the references, people and places in the book.

"In high school I'd hung out briefly with Tanya, who was from France, and I thought that was really exciting. I would introduce her to people, saying, This Is Tanya, She's From France! I didn't understand why she wanted me to stop"

Tanya again, weird. Did I mention Tanya was from France?

This very funny mug shot is from The Smoking Gun. Besides the many celebrity mug shots they have, there is a section filled with these random people. This one is my personal favorite, and there are many, many more.

This one is my husband, Jim. People always ask about it when they are at our place. It is a fake. He used to be the store artist for Tower Records Richmond. He was supposed to submit a staff photo to Tower Headquarters so he had the employees pose like convicts. See the black eye? Devotion to his craft. Word up.

All your Ralph Wiggum quotes all in one place!

Those crazy emo kids.

Replacements re-issue "Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash".

January 3, 2003

This guy kills me. I'm browsing through Vice's Dos and Don'ts List and I see him. I have no idea who he is, I only know the man has been ubiquitous on the Lower East Side for at least the past 15 years, most likely many more. My girlfriends and I used to call him E.K.'s dad. Basically he looked like this friend of ours E.K., if our friend had been 20 years older, Dominican and very dirty. No doubt E.K. would love the comparison...The crazy part is this dude does not seem to age. I mean he looks exactly the same. Soon we're gonna have to call him E.K.'s brother.

Jay sent me this today:

Absolutely the Least Substantial Reason for a Knife Fight:

Police in Mansfield Township and Hackettstown, N.J., charged Emmanuel Nieves, 23, with aggravated assault on Nov. 13 after he allegedly slashed the face of his friend Erik Saporito, 21, as the two men fought after arguing over which one had more hair on his buttocks.

Other weird news.

I bought The Streets album for Jim before Christmas. He didn't ask for it or anything, I had just read about it and thought he might be interested. So he was all psyched and brought it to work and then that evening he brought it back like, "Wow, this sucks." So I took it and brought it to my work. And you know what? I like The Streets. How completely unexpected. When my brother was visiting for the holidays I put it on to get his opinion and it ends up he had been listening to on the bus from NYC. We figure it must be something genetic because everyone else echoed Jim's sentiment and was like "This blows."