March 31, 2003
Pets with their heads in a bag of food.
Wow, there is just so much gay stuff out there right now.
Who's that guy from 21 Jump Street? Not the Cheat.
If you've had some suspicions about your partner, you can get your questions answered here. Its simple and convenient.
I'm all down with the program and all, but why do all those new anti-war songs gotta suck so hard? Except this Green Day one...it's kinda sweet. Yes, I did just admit listening to Green Day. I'm not even attempting to be cool any more.
Namastay.
March 25, 2003
Mr.California relaxes before his set.
Some of the highlights from last night's performance; a song called "Bitch Bitch Bitch" that clocked in at 18 seconds, other classics such as "Fight the Power" "Butterfly" and "I"m Gonna Kick You in the Head" performed at the same lightening fast pace.
In a break after a song that had to be called "Machine", cos it went something like: MACHIIIINE MAAAAAAAAAACHINE MACHINE MACHINE MACHIIIIIIIINE. Some guy from the first band shouts "I really just opened for this guy!?" Priceless. Jim picked up a copy of the CD should anyone want to hear it.
Anyway, we got to see Roy and that was the point of our little excursion to the wilds of Somerville. See for yourself.
This idiocy has got to end somewhere. We have paid elected officials in this country who are under the impression that while we are in a state of war and the economy is in a nosedive, they can waste even more taxpayer dollars and hold sessions where they kick around the idea of "freedom fries". Old news, I know... fucking ridiculous all the same. But it was only yesterday, when French's Mustard decided they had to write a fucking PRESS RELEASE to assure the American public that "The brand is 100% American with homegrown roots stronger than most" that I officially lost my shit. NORMAL PEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT THIS CRAP. So in protest I have decided there will be be no more French's mustard for me... from now on it is ketchup all the way. Didn't you hear? Ketchup is mad cool. I heard Tony Blair makes it himself. And French people aren't allowed to eat it by law.
Take action on the New Patriot Act.
Can't lose your money fast enough on the street? Now you can play cups at home.
March 24, 2003
Fun stuff
coming up:
Tomorrow night Mr. California is at Pa's
Lounge, 345 Somerville Ave, in scenic Somerville.
Electric Six is at
TT's on Thursday April 3rd.
This American Life
is hitting the road and will be the Berklee Performance Center on Saturday,
May 3, 2003, two shows : 3 p.m. & 8 p.m.
Yeah, so if I owe you money, you know where to find me.
Recently I was dealing with this sales rep. based in Amsterdam. He seemed to think the reason I hadn't gotten in touch with him was because I couldn't figure out the time difference between our two countries. Y'know the problem was that I just didn't understand when he was in the office, not that I was just blowing him off. So to rid me of my obvious confusion he sent me this link to the world clock. And its actually kinda cool.
Another
site for peace posters.
I was deleting some old bookmarked pages and found this. An oldie but a goodie.
The hair
police will give you fake dreads so you can hang out with the cool
kids and look like you have good drugs. They also offer the "dreadperm"
although I am too frightened to even click on that page, you guys are
on your own there.
There was this guy named Spider that used to work at the Tower Records
on Newbury Street. He had medium length black dreads. One day he cut his
dreads off, leaving only an inch around of hair. A month later he had
shoulder length dreads again. Black magic? Nope.
"Spider...what happened to your...hair? What is that?" I asked pointing at his head. And he goes, "Oh, they're my dreads." He saw the look of confusion on my face and added "I crazy glued them back on. See?" HORRIFYING.
I have some words of advice for you kids: if you decide to cut your dreads off and then decide you liked yourself better with the dreads JUST LIVE WITH THE REGRET. DO NOT GLUE YOUR HAIR BACK ON YOUR HEAD.
So I took
the GRE last December. I did really well on the verbal and analytical
sections but found that my math skills are roughly akin to those of an
8th grader in a remedial math class. The analytical section is now comprised
of two written arguments instead of the old fill-in-the-box multiple choice
jobbie. Anyway, the topic I was assigned was to critique the govermnent's
role in the flow of information in the US (and whether it is cool to withhold
info from its citizens). So of course I end up name-checking Noam
Chomsky. I mean what else would someone do with that topic? What I
wrote was not so much a direct quote as just a reference to Manufacturing
Consent. I said according to Chomsky the government, representing major
corporate interests was already controlling the media and that our government
maintains the status quo by keeping the means of information narrowly
and rigidly controlled.Then I threw around all the big words I knew, trying
to sound all academic and and hoped for the best.
But I had second thoughts about my choice of references immediately
upon leaving the testing center. I kept thinking that the $7 an hour dude
grading my paper out in Iowa would think I was some no good pinko commie
and knock points off of my score as my punishment.
So today I read in the New Yorker's profile of Chomsky that I am not alone in my source material:
Chomsky's intellectual influence is still extraordinary. On an academic list of the ten most frequently cited sources of all time (a list that includes the Bible), he ranks eighth - above Hegel and Cicero, just below Plato and Freud.
I find that AMAZING. Nobody has ever quoted Cicero to me.
I heart Evil Design.
March 23, 2003
Lisa Georgetti once let me crash at her place for a month. She and her roomate had really bad taste in television and would subject me to hours of viewing random cooking shows -although I never ever saw either of them actually cook anything in real life. But their favorite was this insipid game show called Supermarket Sweep. The point of Supermarket Sweep was to run through a supermarket and fill up a basket in a certain amount of time. You wanted the stuf f you threw in your basket to add up to more money than your opponent...I think...I'm really rusty on the premise...And Lisa would sit there and yell things like "Run for the meat!" and "The medicine aisle, asshole!"
Wanna answer questions about cake batter and paper towels? Play the online version of Supermarket Sweep.
Know anyone 22-28 yrs old in NYC to set up on a candid camera show? Clicky here.
Banana is back and ready to take on Chili Pepper. Where he at? Again, click.
What's your prison bitch name? Jim's is Liberace and mine is Cream of Meat. I won.
You know that freaky kid that sings The Superbowl is Gay? Turns out he's not really a kid.
March 22, 2003
Last night we went to see The Curses and The Konks. I only have two words: Sweat Lodge. And it was Liz's birthday! So we drove around in cars and drank in Allston.
On my way to pick up my morning coffee I found this. Please, someone...anyone... call the number then report back your findings.
Last Saturday Jen and I were out taking pictures for the Dansko Love team and then Jen made this kick ass ad. Its gonna come out in the next issue of The Ride so watch out.
March 20, 2003
Shout out to my bro for the graphic.
My cousin sent me an email that said "I just saw an old clip of the Smiths and thought of your room in your mum's house."
Ouch. I am hoping that mental image doesn't include me lying in fetal position on the floor, softly wailing "I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does..."*
*this is a Smiths reference. The song is How Soon is Now? You only got this reference if you spent at least part of the 80's in a dark suburban bedroom.
Let me show you out with this random lyric from the good old Smiths:
Sweetness,
sweetness I was only joking
When I said I'd like to smash every tooth
In your head
Oh ... sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
When I said by rights you should be
Bludgeoned in your bed
Ah, that hit the spot.
March 18, 2003
Bad music news: Johnny Cash is in the hospital again.
Good music news: The Stooges are back!
Some helpful hints for landing that new job. Or not.
A sure sign of spring (and I should know, because I spend all my time looking for signs you know) is when Cadbury Creme Eggs hit the store. They used to be my favorite. Now my favorite is the Cadbury Mini Eggs. Oh so good.
Let Ali G translate that for you.
Alright, I realize this is both illegal and dangerous and I certainly do not condone serving children drug cocktails...but my god, why can't they serve adults xanax-flavored apple juice on planes? It would make flying so much more tolerable.
Another airlines story, proving that all that added security at the airport IS making a difference.
And an article about the guys behind The Smoking Gun.
Does your cute 100% cheerful curry use mild Japanese apples and cute hamsters?
March 16, 2003
Out taking pictures with Jen today.
Joe sent me this link yesterday...lots of cool video.
And this one is funny too.
Over and out.
March 14, 2003
Hey Shorty, it's your birthday, it's your birthday....
Happy Birthday Jersey.
Jersey is a very funny girl.
One night
a bunch of us are hanging out and I go, "I have the funniest receipt
in my pocket."
And everyone's like "What?"
I pulled it out and read off the little piece of paper, "syphilis.....$5.99"
"Nuh-uh" Jim pulls it from my hand.
It was true. I had bought a lunchbox that said "syphilis" across
the top earlier that day.
Jersey goes,
"I have a funnier receipt."
And I just
look at her, because how could she have a funnier receipt than one for
syphilis? Why would she happen to be carrying a receipt for anything?
She pulls the paper from her pocket, hands it to me and there printed
in black and white is:
"Fuck you you fucking fuck.......$1.99"
Tou-fucking-che.
Another funny thing about Jersey is that she tells lies when she is drunk. Not trying-to-get-over-on-you lies, she tells strangers things that are blatently untrue and very funny to the rest of us who know she is making shit up on the spot. So one night right after she finishes telling some guy in a punk rock band how Anne manages The Strokes, she convinces him to pose for pictures by saying they will be posted on her web site "bostonpunkpage.net". I held it together until the dot-net, then I just had to laugh...dot-net? Genius.
Me and Heather went to see The Hours last week. I totally didn't want to see it, but Heather did so I pretended I was down. And then I ended up loving it. My initital resistance had to do with the fact that I took a course entirely devoted to the works of Virginia Woolf while I was in college. Why? Because I didn't enjoy her writing and thought this class would help to show me the error of my ways. Instead I sat through a few months of literary torture. Now here I was in an overly air-conditioned theatre thinking I should really give Mrs. Dalloway another chance. Someone should knock some sense into me before I hit the bookstore.
It's peanut butter jelly time! (Where he at? Where he at?)
Yeah, I called this one. (See Feb 20th) Howard Stern is indeed suing ABC over their Hot or Not show. What I didn't know is that Howard's former sidekick, the talentless Jackie Martling, is involved in the production.
I'm not sure if I have made this confession public before, but I do indeed watch/listen to The Howard Stern show. It's no secret... I just don't go out of my way to tell people...ok, there may be a little shame involved. As I am not a hormonally charged, acne scared, 19 year old boy I have trouble explaining the attraction. It made me feel much better to know that my beloved Ira Glass is also a fan.
Speaking of Ira Glass: Davy Rothbart, a contributor to This American Life and the publisher of Found Magazine wrote this great article about Mr. Rogers. It made me regret the fact that I only kept up correspondence with Mr. Bumblebee from Romper Room and the kids from Zoom, since Mr. Rogers seemed to be issuing invitations to chill.
Jen interviews Corn Mo. Things I learnt from this interview: Jen likes Atari, the Dansko Love Cycling team makes Corn Mo feel like its his birthday (?) and Corn Mo will let Jen live on his pull out couch if the need ever arises.
Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry's had his anti-war commercial rejected by t.v. executives because it is "too graphic".
And MTV won't air the not-too-graphic, kinda lame, but also anti-war commercial by Not in Our Name.
Why is it that John Stewart at the Daily Show is the only one asking hard-hitting questions about the war? And still manages to remain entertaining?
The Beastie Boys are kickin it...
On a completely unrelated topic; I found my personal bagel nirvana many years ago. Living on the corner of Avenue A and 12th Street, it was only a matter of time before I stumbled into David's Bagels. (1st Ave & between 13th and 14th) What began as an accident became a routine. Roll out of bed hungover at noon on Saturday, throw on some pants and straight to David's. Pick myself off the floor Sunday morning, find my pants and out to David's. Bagels on my way home from school, bagels on my way to work, bagels for dinner, bagels for breakfast. Bagels anytime, bagels all the time. I never got sick of them. Most days it was an everything with cream cheese, but those days when I was particularly hungry, only a sesame with egg salad would do.
And you
say "But Noreen, aren't those Asian people making the bagels? What's
up with that?"
And I go "Yeah, they're Asian, so what? They got the Jewish star
over the "i" in David's - that makes them legit."
And you're like "What?" and then, "Should that fat biker
in a hairnet really be preparing food?"
And I'm all "yeah."
I had time to kill when I was in New York last week. I got my NY Times and headed straight to David's. There I kicked back for an hour watching the people freeze outside through David's steamed up windows and eating my everything bagel. Good times.
Anyway, I ordered this book Words Words Words from So New Media and there is this story "Bread Girl" by Jami Attenberg and in it she name drops David's Bagels.
"They're the model of efficiency there, wordlessly moving customers in and out in record time, and their bagels are some of the best in the city, if not the best."
A girl after my own heart.
Oh yeah, I realized that they removed that David Sedaris story from the New Yorker online content so anyone who really wants to read it can download a pdf by clicking here.
March 11, 2003
Quick heads up : Elvis Costello is hosting the David Letterman show tomorrow night.
March 9, 2003
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I found out where all our q-tips were going. Allston has been taking them. Here I caught her in the act.
In case anyone thinks that this hasn't been the worst winter ever.
I thought this was amusing.
I know that two peeps links in less than two weeks is a little extreme, but this dude is getting mad creative with the peeps.
A while back, Jim and I made a rule about not bickering in front of others. You know, why waste that stuff on others when we can save it all up for our private time? And basically all the quarrelling would stem from the same thing. I would be telling a story, as I am apt to do, and Jim would sit there fact-checking as I went along. Like "Well, it wasn't exactly teal Noreen it was kelly green." Details that I thought were completely superfluous would be of mad importance to Jim suddenly. And I would just be like "What?" Now, everybody knows that presenting the facts as they are can be BORING BORING BORING, so somtimes you have to color the language a little to make the tale interesting...And Jim was just ruining my flow. And my flow is my flow man, c'mon...So in retaliation, I would pout. Like "No! No! I'm not fucking telling the story now! No! I don't care!" Silence. And anyone who was sitting with us? Not exactly comfortable.
What is this all leading up to? A new David Sedaris story of course. What particularly cracked me up about this is that their entire argument is over a story he is telling about his boss with a rubber hand. Oh I got me some stories...but I won't bore y'all now.
As you can see, the scales are tipping for fat mouse.
March 8, 2003
I feel compelled to note: new at rathergood, the kitties wanna take you to a gay bar.
Oh, and I just remembered I had these shots of Lisa's room. I'm always blown away by the cool-ass environments she creates for herself. This one kinda has a fairy-tale-brothel vibe.
I missed Interpol last night. Why? A blizzard, of course! It was MARCH last I checked... however since this is turning out to be the never-ending winter of my frigid discontent, it made perfect sense. The continual barrage of sleet, snow, freezing rain, and other things cold and wet that fall from the sky isn't getting to me. No, no...never! I LOVE THIS SHIT.
I don't know if this interests other people, but there was this heavily circulated/linked email a couple weeks ago about the World Economic Forum:
"A journalist attends the World Economic Forum and writes her friends an email about the experience. Two weeks later, that email is on the Web, people she's never met are correcting her spelling, and the journalist is vowing to go back to longhand.
Welcome to the world of accidental privacy spills. Compared with the problem of keeping personal email private, copyright and spam are easy."
And the email itself.
While the whole privacy/public domain issue is interesting, I was much more affected by the content of the email. It's disheartening to see the way a writer protrays the forum to her friends vs. what actually got published on the subject.
What did I do last night instead of waste money at a lame-ass club? Planted myself in front of the television, duh. So I was watching the Jimmy Kimmel show primarily to see Sarah Silverman who was co-hosting (and I heard sleeping with) Mr. Kimmel. And they showed this video. And I cracked up. More funny.
Click here for Sarah Silverman's scandal on Conan.
Sometimes I have a hard time articulating why one reality show is better than the other, as is the case with The Surreal Life and I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! (I'm a Celebrity... sucks). This article clarifies the whole issue.
There's a pretty engaging story on female friendship, or lackthereof, in this week's New Yorker. It's not long and there's no annoying big words...read it.
So I guess its that time again. Yes boys and girls, time for one of my all-encompasing blanket apologies. Not that I really have that much apologizing to do... it's more explaining. You see a strange side effect of alcohol is that I find it makes me EXAGGERATE the truth. So, "When I was a child I used to have a yellow bike" turns into the Hunter Thompsonesque "I was burnin' up the highway on my Harley before I turned five." You see the subtle difference, right? So yeah, that's the story. After 2 am, don't listen to a word I say.
March 7, 2003
I'm a god-mother. FINALLY! I have just been sitting around forever waiting for someone to ask me. Her name is Trudie Elizabeth Brady and she is the cutest thing on earth. The only down-side to this is that she lives in London so I cannot smother her with physical affection and constant attention. My current plan is to buy her love through gifts.
Here she is:
And here she is with the equally adorable Louis Brady:
March 7, 2003
Don was nice enough to give me a ride from NYC to Boston...a very long ride that involved bad chinese food, 50 Cent and freezing temperatures.
Ok, I am convinced that Don's pit bull Ezra was giving me the evil eye the entire ride. What do you think?
More leaving NY.
Nick was late for dinner the other night cos he was meeting these girls. I was very intrigued. Much more so with their manager then with the girls themselves. Rumor has it he is some kind of Russian Mob, ex-child therapist, ex-advertising executive that is now making a living off of promoting two jail-bait faux-lesbians...what, what?
And let me clarify once again...those kissing pictures are POSED which is why we all look so wack. Do not be horrified.
March 6, 2003
*****DISCLAIMERS*****
( Please
read all disclaimers before viewing photos.)
1. All images
are property of Noreen Mary Teresa Henson. Hereby refered to as NMTH.
2. All kissing was forced upon those victims participants
by NMTH. Under no circumstances are these individuals sexually involved
in any way.
3. These photos comprise the LEAST humiliating pictures of those taken.
4. No, I won't take them down.
Now with no further ado....
Thinking I'm some kinda spy with this stupid camera.
Some cool installation we stopped to see on our way outta the city.
More later...
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